my heart has lost its rhythm

worn, beaten out poor soul 

learning to fly but never knew why

how life will kick you around

just so you know the value in you

when the world slow down

when the star burn up

will we still be here?

a part of me want to let go

a part of me want it to stay the same

but never it did make me feel better

for all the memories that remains

don't let hatred consume you

for it destroy the real you inside

it's best to be honest and pure

and cherish the lovely day u had

long gone are the bittersweet memory

and all i had in this world is me

-p.zid-

based on what had happen lately,

there's lots of thing which keep echoing in my mind..

be yourself.... no one else can do a better job

love yourself... no matter how CRAZY you seem to be

if people were to accept the REAL you

not just your looks, money or brain

why would anything else matter

when you got TRUE friend by your side

a reminder for today and always

don't lie if you're going to say sorry

a heart may forgive but never forget

this is just exactly who i am

and i ain't changing that easy

they say as we get older, we'll get wiser

no more jokes and no more play

we ought to behave in a better way

but i really would like to be just me

for other people to see what is inside of me

i may be foolish, immature and clumsy

but as you get to know me, you'll see

there's more to this than just some story

to my beloved friends, i love you

to my dearest family, thank you

for letting me be just be me...

who would have thought

the dreams i used to cherished

is nothing more than a story in my head

trying to make it up with the world

to seduce the agony of doubt

resting peacefully in my heart

i try to make it feel better

but in the end it doesn't matter

only i knew what is buried deep inside

if the walls are about to come down

would you mind climbing a step up?

do you wait for the perfect moment

or live your life a second to soon

there will always be a day

when all you want is to push the pause button

to stare at endless horizons of destiny

never knowing which will make you real

flirting with the clown of fate

and still they never show you justice

life will never go easy on you

that why you should keep trying

caused tomorrow will be just another day

if seeing is believing

then what to make out of the air we breath?

if hearing things out is enough

then when do we are suppose to listen?

if the heart was meant for two

then you just gotta find your other half

don't be surprised, don't be naive

there's still so much life got to give

you gotta embrace it, face it

smile and make them wonder why..

to the person that teach me what love is

thank you, for now there is only hope

that my twilight will come to an end

and the star will shine brightly again

when i find my heart missing piece

there's no stopping what have already begun

to the point we only believe in ourselves

the heart only can take too much of heartache

then the spirit of love will fly away again

should have flee when you got the chance

should have close your eyes and turn away

then you won't be forced to stay

like a canary in a cage

it longed to fly in open blue sky

like a long lost love

which have already die

so much for a heart to hold onto

some sweet bitter pain memory

trust your heart, it will lead the way

trust your love it may lead you astray

which will it be dear heart????

I’m sorry I’m not great with words and that I can never find the right thing to say at the right moment, but you scare me when ever I think of how vulnerable I could be and what would happen if I give you the key to my heart.

She's the type of girl who responds to guys who smile at her because she wants to be friendly. She is the type of girl who stare hard at the board when she does not understand what the teacher is teaching. She is the type of girl who acts like a kid because she misses her childhood. She is the type of girls who rather gets hurt by truths than lies. She is the type of girl who wishes for good things for people she loves. She is the type of girl who stay loyal to one guy when she learns how to love. She is the type of girl who hold on to memories even if it hurts. She is the type of girl I am

i'm trying but i'm hurting,

i couldn't stand being without you

but only if you knew

how much you really meant to me

you wouldn't make it so hard

caused we already know each other

but then again what we knew is in the past

what will happen in the future

i still don't know

i still haven't figured it out

having you as my best friend

then losing you had make me cry

if only i knew

forgiveness isn't the same as second chance

do i deserve another chance

do i even deserve you??

i wanna mend this broken heart

i wanna fix this cold war

i still think you're worth to fight for

but please give me hope to do so

don't kill me by saying no

you're my best friend still

even if you didn't know..

~ZI~

it happens... the person who are close to us may be a stranger the next day. no matter how close we're actually before, it doesn't matter anymore. we choose what we want to believe, and i believe it's over, really over between us. who are to blame for this kind of situation??? we fight but then we always make up and forgive.. but not this time, things really change. friends are forever---- maybe you just not that kind of friend, maybe it's my fault , my overflowing sensitive emotions attack me and you decided to let me deal wit it alone. there's nothing i could do about us anymore. it wasn't me that remove you from my list of friends... it's was you.. and what am i suppose to do about it?? i'm sorry for the thousands time if i ever hurt you, ignore you, it's just something that i have no control over.... my heart is not where my head is... wishing we were just like before is impossible, so much have been damaged.. wishing for us to start over when everything is ending, wishing you could have know me better but it's already to late.. i never thought it will end like this, i never want it to be..

when you think you know someone well enough, actually it'll never be

the more you're close to that one person, the more they tend to hurt you

no they will NOT care about you, no they will NOT even bother

for we're ALONE from the start to the end

there's never an explanation

just some excuses you made up

blame it on your pathetic life

for everything that had go wrong

cause i don't understand

maybe i'll never will

cause you are just someone

that will come and go

last time you're gone

it tear up something inside me

you never know , you never will

cause the next time you're gone

i won't even flinch

-zi-

suddenly i find myself back into these moment where i wish vampire were real.. i was in love with edward before and still are, not for his gorgeous looks, that only flattering for me.. i was more interested with his deep passion for bella.. if i get to choose how i want a guy to love me.. i would say it would be like edward's... when i was reading the books, i wish i was his.. the only reason for his existent , should i say more? he is more than a human to me (if vampire do exist)

he got a lot of love to give, and i'm more willing to accept.. where's my edward?

there are times when you wish things were different

just to feel your heart beat the same way

when your eyes roams the streets

hoping to find the ones who'll make you stop looking

we're been told how much it'll hurt

but what we didn't realize is how it will affect us

new memories will replace the old ones

until that happen, we'll just have to remember

what makes us who we are today

when we sleep our mind often drift to a place beyond our conscious mind. what is the meaning behind every dream we had.i had no clue or what so ever... my dreams often leave me in wonder.. recent one that i had make me question myself, whether or not i had let go and let things of the past stay in the past. i dream of my high school crush turning into a vampire?!.... then i dream of my best guy friend as my lover?.. it doesn't makes sense... i dream of a fight, choose between A or B and i know what the decision are before i wake up.. they say dream often reflect what you usually feel inside.. so tell me please what does my dreams meant? make note that all three dream that i had did not shared the same feeling.. solid anger, confusion, compassion, fear, and love are all mixed up...maybe it was just a dream...

i'm home

back from a nice fun fantastic time at redang. this trip is more academic than leisure but still we had a great time. our camp site is next to a turtle nesting site. we managed to see the staff collecting the eggs, more than 60 per holes.. then in the morning they released the baby turtle into the sea..amazing experience.. snorkeling, scuba diving-- breathtaking underwater view, i like to say it look like underwater garden paradise..the island picture is PULAU REDANG,we stay next to it--pulau pinang.. my groupie in the island- group 3mate! very proud of y'all... tons of works awaits us after semester open. huuuu so far this is what we-MARINE BIOLOGY of UMT do most of the time.. and i'm loving every sec of it!!!

1. GREAT BARRIER REEF, AUSTRALIA
2. GALAPAGOS ISLAND
3. GRAND CANYON
4. AURORA BOREALIS@NORTHERN LIGHTS,ALASKA
5. NIAGARA FALLS,CANADA,NEW YORK,USA
6. VENICE, ITALY
7. EIFFEL TOWER, PARIS
8. MALDIVES

--SIPADAN is a must!

pisces, changeable, hard to pin down- born in march, my element is water :water signs are attuned to waves of emotion. and often seem to have a build-in-sonar for reading mood. have special sensitivity in relationships, knowing when to show warmth and when to hold back. AT THEIR BEST they are healing force that brings people together--AT THEIR WORSE, they are psychic vampires, able to manipulate and drain the life force of those closest to them.

duh.. would you rather believe someone else to tell who you really are, when actually deep down you know everything that had been going on. after all it's your own life. some maybe true, but some the price of the truth is protected by lies.